I PASSED!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh!!! I'm so happy, I'm actually shaking. I did not realize how nervous I was. Now I just need to go tell everybody. Where IS everybody????? I passed!!!

Day One

Wow. I just finished my first day of third year of med school - my first day as a "pretend doctor," if you will. My feet hurt a bit too much to really write about it, but these are the basic impressions: I have NO idea what I'm doing; interns and residents are fabulously nice and helpful; I have NO idea what I'm doing and finally - I think this is going to be fun! If only I knew what I was doing... :) I'm in CCU. That's Coronary Care Unit. I think. Maybe it is Cardiology Care Unit. See: I don't know anything!

But, I made it through the day (it went by really fast!) and I'm still smiling. Yee-haw! We'll see how I'm feeling Wednesday night, after my first night on call... I left my poor partner in crime (who is now talking to me, after an emotional - on my side anyway - hour-long talk last night; 1 of 3 so far...I don't know if I'll be able to convert the others) behind for his first night of call. I felt almost like I was abandoning him. He didn't have a patient yet, so was quite bored. I had had one patient, and was clueless. I'm hoping that by the end of the week, we'll be done with boredom and cluelessness...

It is raining outside, which is wonderful. There'd been just a bit too much sun lately. I miss me some gloomy days. Have I mentioned that I'm from Oregon?

Maybe I need to invest in some sort of foot-soaking thing-a-ma-bob... Hmmm...that sounds nice.

Twilight Zone

Oh. My. Gosh. Tomorrow is the big day. I'm a bit (a LOT) nervous. Sometimes I'm excited, too, but mostly, I'm just nervous.

Now. The dean's meeting. I had asked one of the girls what the meeting was going to be about, because I had no clue, and I didn't want to be completely taken off guard. She just told me that it wasn't about personal issues, that they just wanted to make sure we'd be able to work together... I accepted that and didn't question it further.

So, when the meeting started, I was surprised to find out that there was something more specific. Apparently, there was an e-mail sent to the two girls about a week after the initial incident. I don't know what was in the e-mail - no one will show it to me - but it was taken as a threat against their grades. A threat that I somehow initiated, or had some hand in. This same friend has offered several times to intervene, and I've told her no. This is my issue, and I'd never ask anyone else to get involved. It's painful enough for me, I don't want to muddle it up with other people. Because then stuff like this happens... Sigh. So all the anger this last week has had a source: this e-mail. I feel like there is this war raging around me, and I am five steps behind on the battlefield, searching for clues among the rubble.

I'm still not angry. I'm confused. I'm so terribly confused. I so desperately want to understand why this is all happening, but no one will tell me anything. And then they don't believe that I don't know anything! Why would I lie? What on earth would that accomplish? I do not lie. I've always been a bad liar; people can see right through me. When you're as bad as I am, you learn that telling the truth is much safer. But apparently, I look like I'm lying when I tell the truth, too.

At this point, I don't care what the e-mail said. I care that I am being labeled a liar for not knowing about it, and I care that people would think that I'd try to sabotage their grades. I don't know how these people have gotten this image of me in their head. I've done some not-nice things - I'd be the first to admit that, but I am not this... evil person that they seem to think I am. And, really, the only thing I've done is to talk - all of this mess is due to me saying things to people that I thought were my friends. We used to be friends. Did they not, at some point, recognize some goodness in me?

An old friend of mine claims that I walk into the Twilight Zone every time I come back to North Carolina. I think that may be the least confusing explanation I've heard...

The Skinny Mirror

There is a gym here at the med school (which I never use, because I have a complex about people I know seeing me in work-out clothes). I often use the bathroom in it, because it is close to the study room. In this bathroom is a much-admired (by me, anyway) Skinny Mirror. For those of you onto Harry Potter lingo, I'd have to compare it to the Mirror of Erised. For those of you who aren't - it's just freaking awesome, and somewhat hypnotic. Something about skinny mirrors can manage to cheer up most girls, I think. It's like seeing dreams fulfilled.

Anyway... I just didn't pass (i.e. failed) the written ACLS test - by two questions - but a trip to the Skinny Mirror cheered me right on up! That and the fact that I did well on the HARD part of the test - where I had to pretend to run an actual code (my patient lived!) Plus, I can re-take the written in 10 days, and I'll be sure to do well then.

NOW comes the scary part of my day: I have my meeting with the Dean and "those three." I'm really quite nervous. Breathe... they are only people - people who I used to get along with smashingly. I can do this. I am invincible!!! Well, maybe not, but at least I have a place to go where I can pretend to be skinny!

Vegas, anyone?

I've never been a big gambler - never felt like the odds would favor me. Today, however, I have managed to beat ALL the odds imaginable. It's like a "when-it-rains-it-pours" kinda day. (I should write a song called that...) Today our class was split into 16 groups to start training for ACLS (Advanced Cardiac Life Support... or Awfully Complicated Life Saving...?) . I don't know how the groups were assigned - it seemed random, yet I was in the same group as the me-haters.

Then, this evening we finally found out who exactly we'll be working with for the next eight weeks. I am to be paired up with two people, out of a possible 15. I did not want to be with 3 of these 15, leaving 12 possible people that I could have been paired with. So. I'm not great at figuring out odds, but I do know that the chances were pretty good that I not be paired with them. But. Today is all about beating the odds, so... Two weeks with one person who is not speaking to me, and four weeks with another (the other two weeks I'm on my own). And...none of them got to be with each other! I feel bad for them as well... Chalk it up to a good chance to learn how to play nice with others, though. I think things will be more manageable one-on-one than they are three-on-one...

Speaking of which, we are all going to speak to one of the deans tomorrow. Why a dean, I'm not sure... I kind of get it, but at the same time, all the issues have been personal, and this seems so...official.

Ack. Being serious is no fun. Susan says I should go into peds because no one else will appreciate my humor. :) Heck, yeah!

Oh, yeah... my computer totally bit it today, too (I'm at Susan's house currently)... I don't know how salvagable it is at this point. If it was working, I'd be on it buying my ticket to Vegas. Yeah, baby!

Deep breath.

IV

Ack! I have to put in an IV in about an hour. And I have to let someone put one in me as well! I'm not sure which is scarier... We were peering thru the two-way mirror at the last group that was doing it. One guy was definitely on the verge of passing out. Not a happy expression on his face. More like: "I hate you, now die." Ack.

Orientation continues

I'm slightly bored.

AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!!

One of my favorite things to do as the weather gets warmer? Drive around at night, with my windows down, and my music blaring, while I sing along at the top of my lungs. Isn't it beautiful?!

PDA

I's got me a PDA. Not of the Public affection variety... Of the pocket-PC-Personal-Data (digital?)-Assistant. Yesiree... Now what? I kind of like my computer better.

Tomorrow I have to BUY a pager. Apparently our 5 billion dollar/year tuition does not cover our electronic leash.

Chaos! HAHAHA!

Horoscopes

Life is hard sometimes, and is made even more so when people don't behave in ways that become them. I am often the one behaving inappropriately, but not always. Today, I think I've been doing a good job... It's the first time I've been around the people who decided to no longer be my friend since the night that it all happened. We have to work together for the next year, so I assumed we'd have some sort of contact today - a hello, a smile, a glare, a slap across the face...something. But, nope. Nothing. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Does any one have any advice? How do I make people that are not talking to me change? Is there some secret? I'm totally clueless, and feel helpless. Time heals all wounds. I just wish time would fast forward a bit...

On another note - This was in my horoscope today: The next ten days promise to be major milestones in your personal history. Just imagine what you can do next. Weird? Maybe...

Arg.

Real life resumes, and I've already got a stack of things that I need to get done. Bills, etc. How boringly annoying. Some day I'll hire someone to do this stuff for me. Actually, I probably won't, because that seems like a royal waste of money. But doesn't it sound appealing??? The most annoying thing that I'm doing is financial aid stuff, though, and I'll be done with that after the next couple of years.

It's warm in North Carolina! Not in the room in which I am currently sitting, but outside it is! How wonderful. Not that it matters. I've sworn off sun for two very important reasons: 1) I feel it is time to take sun care precautions seriously and 2) I'm going to be working all day every day, anyway.

My sister went to visit my old alma mater to see if she wants to go there. I loved St. Olaf, and I think she would too, but apparently she got housed with some... not-very-nice person. That makes me mad. Grrrr. (that's me being mad) She's narrowed it down to two schools - that is a hard choice. I was upset when I only got into one med school, but at least I didn't have to make any decisions! And, the more I think about it, I think my deep hatred of North Carolina stems from the fact that I'm stressed out all the time here. I'd probably really like it otherwise. SO! Had I gotten into my state school, I may have grown to hate Portland, which would have been a travesty. Everything turns out for the best in the end. I don't envy Lindsay her decision, though. She'll do the right thing.

Question: The phrase "Well, if you think that, you've got another thin_ coming" Is it a "G" or a "K?" I always thought it was "thinG," but was just recently introduced to the idea that it may be "thinK." Which is right??? I kind of think 'you've got another think coming' makes more sense, but that would mean that I've been wrong for some 20+ years, which is a hard thing for me to accept. :)

AHH! I need sun!

Priss...

My test results from okcupid.

The Priss
Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer

Mature. Responsible. Aristocratic. Excuse me. The Priss.

Prisses are the smartest of all female types. You're highly perceptive, and confident in your judgements. You'd take brutal honesty over superficiality any time--your friends always know where they stand with you. You're completely unfake. Don't tell me that's not a word. You're also excellent at redirecting internal negative energy.

These facts indicate people are often intimidated by you. They also fall for you, hard. You have a distant, composed allure that many find irresistible. If only more of them lived up to your standards.

You were probably the last among your friends to have sex. And the first to pretend that you're pregnant. LOL. Though you're inclined to use sex as weapon, at least it's not as one of mass destruction. You're choosier than most about your partners. A supportive relationship is what you're really after. Whether you know it or not, you need something steady & long-term. And soothing.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Playboy, The Loverboy

CONSIDER: The Manchild

Back in Portland. Time flies... I'm so tired, yet I still feel the need to blog. It's somewhat addictive, this. You wouldn't think so, but it is - try it and find out!

I don't wanna go back! This trip has been too much fun, and too stress-free to think about going back. I don't deal well with change, and our entire lives are about to change radically. I'm freakin' scared! I have NO clue what we are supposed to be doing. I feel bad that I'm not excited about the new things we're about to encounter. Isn't this what we've been working towards? We're almost there! I should be chomping at the bit, but I'm all ready to head back out to that prairie, where I was chomping on some mighty tasty greens. Ack! I can't decide if I feel more anxious about the fact that everything is changing, or about the fact that I'm not excited about it. Got that? Am I making any sense here? Hmm.

Anyway. Our trip was fantastic. Susan and I even managed to be in bad moods (mostly) at the same time, thus saving the other person from playing "cheer-up" or "politely ignore." We both got to do "quiet grump" together. What a way to bond!

Where'd I leave off? Oh, yes. San Francisco. Love it. Want to live there someday. (as well as Greece, Charleston, NYC, DC, Seattle, Montana, London...) Tuesday, we did some shopping, which I swore I wouldn't do. We also took a ferry out to Sausalito, which was beautiful. So many wonderful art galleries there. Susan and I decided to come back in ten years, when we may actually be able to pretend to afford a corner of one of the paintings we saw. I can't imagine spending lots of money on art, but then I see a picture, and it just belongs to me. Then I feel the need to spend money on it. Lots and lots of money... But not yet!

We left SF on Wednesday, to go visit Yanna in San Diego. That was the shortest leg of our journey - only two nights there, and one full day. We found the sun again in San Diego - it had deserted us at times in SF.

So. I don't think most of you realize how candid I am about some things... But I need to get this off my chest, so forgive me, please. When travelling, and eating lots of food, and staying at other people's houses, there are certain... functions, of the bodily variety, which can prove a bit... difficult to coordinate. So, we got to Yanna's family's house, and I was overcome. I just had to go. And I clogged the freaking toilet. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am the Amazing Toilet Clogger. I'm in the bathroom, and there is no plunger (I'm flashing back to the scene from "Along Comes Polly," but there was no ferret). I tried to do what I could - which mostly consisted of me standing there looking confused/annoyed - what a great plumber I'd make! Then I remembered that Yanna has a large, Russian-Jewish family. I started thinking: "Oh my gosh. I probably just broke at least two or three major social etiquette laws (one: pooping in someone's house your first time there; two: clogging the freaking toilet; three: freaking out about it; four: I don't know, I haven't studied the culture!)" Then I wondered if Yanna's father was part of some ultra-secret, Jewish Russian mafia, and they'd come after me for being so rude and offensive in their home. [Side bar: of course Yanna's father is not in the Mafia. At least, I don't think so...] Anyway, long story shorter, I went and confessed my sin to Yanna, and she said to put the lid down, and later it was just miraculously fixed. Those mafia must have good plumber connections - wonder if they have a spot for a confused/annoyed looking dame...

San Diego is gorgeous. And I learned how to SALSA!!! Well. Kind of. I learned how one should salsa, and then proceeded to make up my own version of it, which involved lots of tripping and hitting people. There were lessons at the beginning, in which Susan and I eagerly participated. When it came time to actually partner up - we were in two long gender-specific lines - all the guys across from us made a beeline straight to the girls on either side of us. Susan and I were left there towering over all the freshly formed salsa couples. Quite embarassing. Kind of like in jr. high, at dances when you're left sitting in a chair by the wall while everyone dances. Actually. It was exactly like that... Thankfully, there were more guys, so they got stuck with us. I even danced after the lessons - though no guy was brave enough to ask me to dance twice... :) Yanna was a star. I tried to learn from her, but it didn't stick. I've determined what my main problem is with dancing: I can't do it! Actually, the problem is that I can't follow a guy's lead. I am off doing my own thing, which generally involves lots of spinning. I like spinning...

The bed is calling my name, and there are way too many words here already. Why are you still reading this?? Don't you have better things to do with your life???

Back to NC tomorrow. Wish me - and all of us - luck!

I Left My Heart...

...in San Francisco. But that's okay, because I'm here to re-claim it! Actually, I've never really left my heart anywhere, but that's how the song goes, and I'm a slave to song lyrics. Or something.

San Francisco is fun. And windy. Thankfully, with my new shorter hair, I can pull off the 'windblown' look with more ease. Though, something must be said for the ponytail look, which I can no longer pull off. Unless I'm working out. Then I do the 'I'm working out' ponytail, which looks kind of like those fake hair things that you can buy at drug stores - you know - like a scrunchie, but made of hair. That's my 'workout' ponytail.

We made it from Portland to Oakland with no problems. Again, it was probably because I didn't check luggage. I oughtta do that more often. We're staying with my friend, Heidi, in her cute little place. She has nice plates. I'm sleeping on an air mattress, and Susan is on a blow-up beach toy. :) Gotta love being in your 20s.

Today, we went to the SFMOMA (Museum of Modert Art, for those of you who aren't pretentious enough to refer to it as MOMA). They have a Pop art exhibit right now, which is fabulous. Unless you haven't eaten in a long time, in which case, you want to rip Andy Warhol's Campbell's soup can OFF the wall and shove it in your mouth. Somehow, I don't think the myriad of MOMA guards would have appreciated that...

We've also done a lot of wandering around, which is always one of my favorite things to do. We rode on BART, and a cable car. No boats, but maybe tomorrow. I bought a painting from a woman on the street, which was also exciting. Local art and all. Not pop art, either.

Now we're at Pier 39, and there are boats (which I'm not on) and seagulls and wind. Lots of wind. And hunger. I'm hungry again, which is kind of suprising, considering that in our wanderings today, I've purchased lots of chocolate. Mmmmm. Chocolate. Love.

I'm actually paying money for this, so you'd better be enjoying it!!! More fun to come. If you're me anyway, I don't know what all y'all are doing.

On the off chance that Michael does read this: GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!!! And GOOD LUCK TO MEG (in a few days).

Hmm.

Okay. I seriously just spent the last 40 minutes on a blog, and... it just disappeared. I'm slightly annoyed.

Here's a recap:
I love Portland
Southern Hospitality is a Myth
and, as a Northerner, I am rude to my friends and nice to strangers
Powell's Books is possibly the best place on Earth.
Old friends are fabulous
I'm going to the Columbia River Gorge and Multnomah Falls today, possibly the most beautiful place on Earth.

I'm sad that the post disappeared. Norton Antivirus popped up and said something about a "malicious script." I didn't think my blog was that mean... ;)

You can never go home again...

...that's what they say, right? Well, ha! I proved them wrong! I'm home! Granted, this hasn't really been my home home since I left for college in 1996. And every time I have come back since then, things just a bit less like my old childhood home. So, now that this is potentially the last time I'll be in this house, I'm okay with it. It's been a gradual change. My youngest sister will have to do the fast ripping-off-of-the-band-aid shift in homes, but I got the...dissolvable stitches? Does that analogy work? Hmm...

Yay! I'm in Portland. I love Portland. My friend Susan came along for the West Coast Tour, and I can't wait to show Portland off. It is even sunny today!!!

Yesterday was a tiring day - up at 4:30 am, an hour and a half drive to the airport, layover in Minneapolis (I had not been in Minnesota since college graduation in 2000, so that was a bit poignant...for an airport...) and finally to Portland. I got here at 1 pm Portland time, 4pm my body time. But, for once, my luggage made it safely. Of course, I took it all carry-on, so there wasn't much chance of them losing it, but I feel the need to celebrate that anyway. I tend to have luggage problems.

Okay... things to do and fun to have!

Purging

I spent last night purging. It felt great! Don't worry, I'm not venturing into the dangerous world of the ultra-thin and extremely messed up. I prefer to let my binging stay put, thank you very much. I purged paper. Two years worth of paper. I decided that enough was enough, and there was no reason for me to hold onto the notes I made while studying nitrogen metabolism or major histocomaptability complexes.

As I am an admittedly hopeless pack-rat, this was a very big deal for me. I see the potential for EVERYthing to possibly be useful in a pivotal way some day. Imagine being caught without it! Horrors! How would I survive if I didn't have the clear plastic CD-shaped things that come on the top of a new pack of CD-ROMs? I mean? What if I needed... an extra coaster... or... a new face plate for a clock or a mini-frisbee? You never know. Ooo, it would make a good circular stencil, too...

What potential lay within those 15-20 notebooks full of paper? Knowledge! In my own handwriting! What riches! In some part of my brain, I was going to use those notes often during our clinical rotations, and even beyond in my medical practice. The other 99.7% of my brain - the logical part - was able to beat that little voice into submission last night. I tossed it all! I whittled it all down into one, slim, efficient Notebook of Knowledge. And, believe it or not, I'm tempted to toss that, too! Bring in the new! Out with the old!

It feels good to get rid of some old baggage. Now, I'm lighter and more portable. I can pick up and leave at a moment's notice. Well. Actually, not really. I only purged class notes. I still have the rest of my life nicely packed away into little rat holes all over the country. Maybe some day I'll get to those, too...

But now, I need to go home and pack! Tomorrow begins my West Coast Tour. Or, should I say The Important Parts of the West Coast Tour. Those being: Portland, San Francisco and San Diego. As a true Oregonian, I cannot acknowledge the existence of the middle part of California. ALSO: A true Oregonian recylces. So, while I may have 'purged' my notes...they're actually still in my apartment, waiting to be hauled to a recycling center... So sue me!

Things that Annoy Me

I'm feeling cynical. Bear with me... :)

1. North Carolina drivers
2. North Carolina roads
3. The fact that my apartment doesn't clean itself, even when I sing "Spoon Full of Sugar"
4. Driving in North Carolina
5. I can't fly
6. I can't even fly kites
7. Emode changing its name to "Tickle"
8. People who insist on using shopping carts in TJ Maxx or other stores where the aisles are much too narrow
9. Grading Kaplan MCAT essays
10. Not being the richest person in America
11. Wal Mart
12. People who shop at Wal Mart (including me, while I'm in there)
13. The fact that I don't have a magic wand
14. Or glass slippers

Things that I like:
1. Suction cups.

Lessons from Brenna:

I am addressing the gentlemen out there tonight. Not that I expect there are all that many that actually read my blog, but whatever. These things need to be said, and I feel it is my mission to say them.

The lesson today is: Bar/Club Behavior.

Lesson 1: Eye Contact.
Just because a girl makes eye contact with you does NOT mean that she is interested. Even if she makes repeated eye contact with you, do not start thinking that you are hot stuff. More than likely, you are just in the line of sight of a) the bathroom; b) the slutty looking girl her friend just pointed out or c) the guy she really is trying to make eye contact with. Eye contact is NOT about quantity, it is about quality. Remember this rule - it is applicable to many areas of life.

Lesson 2: Dancing.
Go for it. Personally, I think it is kind of cute when a guy is willing to make a fool of himself out on the dance floor - and I'm not the only girl who feels this way. Just try to not hit anyone with your flailing limbs, and it's all good. As an addendum to this rule, however: if you DO notice that people are pointing, glaring or otherwise creating a ten foot buffer zone around you, you may want to tone it down a bit.

Lesson 3: Getting a Clue.
When you are dancing closer to a girl, in an attempt to "make your move," if you will, and you notice that she is edging away, getting closer and closer to the wall (or to the guy with the ten foot buffer zone): SHE IS TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM YOU. It is as simple as that. She is not playing hard to get: she is just not interested. This is doubly, or triply true, if it is an entire group of girls edging away.

Lesson 4: What Girls Wear.
Some girls in bars and clubs are looking to get picked up. Some are not. There is no way to tell the difference by just looking. There is not a simple equation like: more cleavage = more likely to come home with me. Granted, some girls put it all out there, but contrary to popular belief, that does not mean she is 'easy.' It just means she likes the way she looks, even if she may be in an ill-advised white vinyl mini skirt and fluorescent green tube top. How to know if a girl is on the prowl? I refer back to Lesson 1, or to general common sense. If a girl is all over you, chances are, she's more likely to be on the prowl. Notice that I did not say that she IS on the prowl. Remember that you are in a bar, there is a copious amount of liquor present, so NOTHING is certain.

Lesson 5: Bartender Etiquette.
Not being a bartender, I cannot speak for them. Being a person who uses bartenders to receive drinks in exchange for money, I have one final lesson/plea for all you men. When you see a girl approaching the bar, with that determined "man, I need a drink," look in her eyes, let her through. Have some heart for the poor girl who is forced to purchase her own drink, and don't make her elbow her way up to the front. Heck, if you're feeling magnanimous, offer to buy her a drink. Don't expect anything in return, but you'll make the girls night, believe me. And you might just build up some good karma for yourself - that vinyl-skirted, tube-topped girl may just start giving you some very quality eye contact while you're out boogie-ing on the dance floor...

These are my lessons for you. Learn them. Use them. And stop bugging me when I'm out trying to have fun. Especially if you have a pony tail or the same glasses you wore in junior high.

Done...

...and for now, that's all that matters. I must go spend money now.

To tip or not to tip?

I'm usually a pretty generous tipper, but do you tip people when your order take-out and they bring it to your car? I just don't know the etiquette on that one. I decided to splurge for dinner, and ordered Italian from Carrabas. Mmmmm....I love me some Italian food.

After I placed the order, I decided to find a grocery store to get foodstuffs for tomorrow. I went to the test center today - there is nothing even close to it, except for a Ham's. I don't think I should go to a place calle Ham's during my test. I just don't think that would be good. So, I drove and drove in one direction, looking for a grocery store to no avail. When I pulled in to turn around, I JUST about got hit by a speeding little gray-black stupid car. Thus strengthening my stance that people who drive cars that MATCH the road should always have their lights on. Especially at dusk. Grrrr. So, no grocery store. I decided that Walgreen's would do. I almost got hit again in the Walgreen's parking lot - this time I was a pedestrian, though, and the car DID have it's lights on, but the woman was looking in her purse, not at ant people she was about to hit (i.e. ME).

Wanna know what my lunch is going to be tomorrow? Hmm? Do ya? Okay, here it is: beef jerky, rice cakes, a granola bar and Gatorade. Yup. Reminder: I had to shop at Walgreen's. I have a banana, too, that I brought from home.

So, then I went to get my lovely Italian food. They bring it out right to the car! I didn't see the "additional bonus: be hit on!" in the menu, but I didn't look at all the fine print. Needless to say, I didn't tip. I decided that if my mere presence was enough to make this young man with the ankle-length apron practically do back-flips for me, that was enough for him.

Back to the Drury Inn for dinner. There is a secure area where you can park, but I couldn't make it work, so I had to back up and do all this maneuvering to get out of the way. Some random old guy in a Charlie Brown shirt stood watching me with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Up in my room (302), I discovered that I had no silverware. A call to the desk reveals that this Inn does not provide silverware, though they do offer complimentary microwave popcorn and plastic cups. I informed them that I had enough cups, thank you very much.

Dilemma: good, greasy Italian food, and nothing to eat it with. I debated becoming creative. I have the little straws to stir coffee, mechanical pencils, and as many plastic cups as I could want. Feeling more hunger than initiative, I decided to eat my Italian food Indian style - with my hands. Mmmmmm. Indian-style Italian food. Nothing beats that. You know what makes the best napkin? I bet you think I'm going to say Kleenex, or even toilet paper, but that isn't right. The right answer: bread. Who knew bread was so multi-functional. See what all those no-carb people are missing????

Let's recap now: I was almost killed, twice; I'm eating beef jerky for lunch tomorrow; I ridiculed myself in front of geriatric Charlie Brown and I got my nice pink shirt all greasy because food doesn't stay in my fingers as well as it does on a fork. All the makings of a great test day tomorrow. What you don't realize, if you don't know me, is that it is TRUE! The more my life resembles a comedy of errors, the more likely the end result is to be positive. So, great! I'm encouraged!

My new dilemma: how to watch 3 TV shows at the same time. Tragic, I know.

The Drury Inn

Isn't there a nursery rhyme with Drury in it? The Muffin Man? Is that right? Do you know the muffin man? Yes, well. I am at the Drury Inn, awaiting my judgment day. The area around here is a bit...sketchy, but the room is okay, and there is High Speed Internet, which is amazingly nice. Otherwise, I'd only have the television to distract me. Now I have the interenet, too!

I'm not feeling very clever tonight. I feel more like if I move my head too quickly, all the information that is precariously balanced in there will start spewing out my ears. I will be so glad when this is over. Oh my, oh my.

Soon.

That's all folks...

I'm officially done studying. What happens, happens. Man, this is scary. I've done SO many questions (1673 at least), though... this should all be a breeze now. Wish me luck!

Man. It's April Fool's Day, too. Too stressed out to even try anything... how sad!

No. I'm not stressed. I'm maintaining Zen-like calm. I am Zen epitomized. Go Zen!