Premature Maturity

There are times in my life where I walk around the hospital all day composing my next blog entry in my head. Those are the days where I consider faking a bathroom break to skip out of rounds to go capture my witticisms before they escape my head. I actually do carry around a notecard where I jot down funny things to blog about. These are the times where I refer to blogging as being 'addictive.'

Lately... eh. I seem to have kicked the habit. It isn't that my life has suddenly grown so exciting that I have no time to blog, or that it has grown so boring that I don't have anything to blog about. Really, it seems to be that I've found the right amount of business/laziness to actually get me out of my own head for the time being.

Because really, honestly? What is blogging if not the ultimate expression of self-centeredness and self-obsession? Here I am, writing about my piddly little life, and expecting others to not only read, but to actually care about it. And I do! I expect people to care and to appreciate me and my life and what I have to say! I'm not too proud to admit how self-centered I am.

I've actually been thinking about this for a while - the selfishness of blogging. It is a craze that has seemed to have swept the younger generations more so than the older ones. This is partially due to the fact that most of the 'older' generation don't spend hours on end in front of the computer. And, I believe, it is partially due to less selfishness in general in the older generations.

Right now I am 27 years old, single, and childless. The most important thing in my life is me. I'm always there, I know my every thought and I always try to make myself happy. The perfect relationship! Why not be selfish and self-centered? I'm gosh-darn good at it - as are most other people in my situation. Why shouldn't we blog about our lives? Children and teenagers are by their very nature completely self-centered. It is only as we age that we begin to comprehend the world around us. Until then, the entire world is just "I." We live inside our heads and within our desires.

Though I am no longer a teenager, I do still live inside my head a lot. Not as much, but enough. I don't know for sure, but I feel pretty certain that I'll stay this way until I have children of my own. I don't think you can really move outside yourself completely until there is someone else completely dependent upon you.

That said, the fact that I haven't been blogging most definitely does not mean I'm pregnant. (Though this would be a really funny way to announce it... I'll have to remember that for the future...) I think I'm just suffering from a bout of maturity.

Don't worry. It won't last long!