Anniversary

It was six months ago today that all that junk happened. It feels like longer ago. So much has happened in 6 months... it doesn't even feel possible that it hasn't already been years and years. Yet, I'm still not completely back to normal after all of that either. I still question my behavior and people's interactions with me much more than I used to. At first, I was sure that everyone I knew was going to see that something had happened between me and those people, and that they'd take the other side. I was worried that people would start to think that I must be an awful person, to have caused my good friends to ditch me. When school started back up in April... let's just say that it was really bad. One of the hardest weeks I've faced.

Six months later, I can almost say that I'm glad it happened. Almost. I discovered (though I did already know...it was just confirmed) who my true friends are. My definition of true friend being 'one who doesn't tell you they don't want to see you any more, even when you are being annoying/mean/grumpy/etc.' It was only after the parking lot incident, and after my brain has had some time to settle down that I'm starting to see how stressed out I was having them as friends. I was never good enough - I spoke my mind too much, I was too concerned about things...I don't even know really how to pinpoint what I was doing wrong. I knew that I was in the wrong, and I had tried so hard to fix myself. But, really, I wasn't broken. No one can exist in a friendship where you're not allowed to be who you really are. So, good riddance. I still wish it had been a natural demise, instead of a brutal, final slash. Because, even though I know this is better, it still hurts. And I still spend way too much time trying to figure out what I could have done differently.

Hey! This also means that it has been 6 months since I got my hair cut! I shall set up an appointment soon...