Heal Thyself

As a medical student, I would be hard pressed to call myself a 'normal' twentysomething sort of person. These so-called 'normal' people in their twenties, as far as I can tell, are in the midst of trying to figure everything out. I can hold myself as an expert here since I have spent two whole years out of school... (that's self-directed sarcasm, for those of you who have a hard time with subtext) I think those of us in medical school are forced to deal with the whole free-floating anxiety, God-what-am-I-supposed-to-do-with-my-life-I-feel-like-I'm-play-acting-and-I-forgot-my-lines situations (see Dave Eggers, Chuck Palahniuk, Garden State to name a few) either a)early or b)late (leading to divorce, substance abuse, etc. in our middle ages) There ain't no way we're going to get very far if we admit, "Well, I'm not really sure what I want to do, but I always thought that being a doctor would be pretty cool. So I thought I'd give it a shot." To have the ability to tell other people what is wrong with them, and how you are going to help them, takes a lot of assuredness - both at work and in your mind.

Not sure how I got off on that tangent. The point of the matter is, that there IS one way in which I'm like a typical twentysomething: I avoid going to the doctor like the plague. Ironic, no?

I went today, though. And I'm very proud of myself! I'm not even sick! I just went for a check-up. I want to know what my cholesterol is... I'll keep everyone posted, as I'm sure you're just dying to know.

I must say - even though I'm fairly familiar with the whole doctor's office situation now, I was nervous! It makes me feel more empathy towards the people coming in that have NO clue what to expect. For me, going through my history was just like presenting any other patient, albeit a little more personal.

Tonight is my last shift in the ED. Yee-haw! First, I have to finish putting together a presentation on Ludwig's Angina. Factoid: "Angina" comes from the Greek "anchone" which means "strangulation." Nothing to do with chest pain.