Steeeee---rike!!!

Ever had one of those days? A day where you walk around in a haze of confusion with an overwhelming feeling of stupidity? If you're a med student, the answer to that question is more than likely yes. (unless I'm totally wrong, and I'm the only one...) I don't know what it is like for the general population at large.

Today started out okay. I pre-rounded on my patients, got an H&P (history and physical) on the new patient admitted last night, went to morning report, and had all my notes ready when rounds started. The bases were loaded and I was ready to bat.

I got to present the new patient right away, which usually is not a problem - in fact, there are times when I enjoy it. It is where you get to tell the best story of the patient's entire hospitalization: why they are there! what sort of strange background led up to the problem at hand! what lab tests showed! what phsyical exam maneuvers were just bizarre! It can be a great time. Unless your attending stands there staring at you, looking as if he will shoot lasers out of his laser-eyes into your nostrils, thru your ethmoid bone, into your frontal lobe for a modern day lobotomy to ensure that you never again form a full sentence, should you should happen to present anything incorrectly. Anything. Guess how well my presentation went this morning? It hearkened back to my days in the CCU, where I was wont to refer to a female patient as "he" because I was just really, really confused.

Strike One.

I never even had the chance to redeem myself! My second patient was whisked away to Neuro rehab, so I didn't really need to present that one. Then we had to leave rounds early to go to lecture. The timing usually doesn't work that way, except that our laser-eyed attending doesn't start rounds until 10 am, which is actually much more annoying than you'd think.

The lecture today was pretty interesting. Very interesting, in fact. Made more so by the fact that every time I opened my mouth to answer a question, I was 180 degrees away from the right answer. But, hey. At least I tried.

Ball One.

Lunch was uncomplicated.

Back on the floor. My upper level kept wanting me to do things, and, even though I was willing, I felt...frantic. I'm not sure why. I don't think I can blame this one on myself... I have a feeling that the upper level himself was frantic, and that I was just getting the frantic aura. I don't think I helped him much, though, as I kept doing things wrong. And nurses kept asking me questions whose answers I did not know.

Strike Two.

As we approaced the time to leave, one of my patients came to me in a huff demanding to know something about their medical care. This morning, the patient had been docile and sweet. (remember yesterday? my docile sweet patient who went crazy? Do I have this effect on people???) I did not know what to tell the patient. I'd seen them for a bit this morning, and that was it... and a lot of that was in the aftermath of my lobotomization.

::Cut to scene of Brenna making stuff up.::

A few minutes later, I am asked to go speak to the family of yesterday's crazy patient. Okay, remember when I said I had to leave rounds early? This has happened EVERY DAY this week, and as a result, I've NEVER seen this patient with any docs. It has all been me. Alone. Clueless. This is the person they send to go reassure the family and allay their fears. I KNOW NOTHING.

::Cut to scene of Brenna making stuff up.::

But I sounded smart...

Balls Two and Three.

The bases are loaded, and I'm at full count.

I think I'll go home now.

Good stuff.