Rules for Hitting on Brenna

Last night, Susan and I spent several hours at Barnes and Noble working on our novels. Susan, being a more prolific writer yesterday than I was, had more to write than I did. So, I found myself wandering around the wonder that is Barnes and Nobel (all those books!!!), and soon found in my possession (temorarily, as I did not purchase it) the best-seller "he's just not that into you." which is even outselling The South Beach Diet and The Purpose Driven Life. (finally)

If you have yet to hear of this new fad book, let me educate you. In an episode of Sex and the City, Miranda has the liberating discovery that if a guy doesn't call her, it doesn't mean that he's complicated or has issues with his mother or pet iguana. It just means that he's not into her. Simple. The whole premise of the book (written by writers from Sex and the City) is basically that men are simple. I like that! If they are 'into you,' they'll let you know.

Which leads me to this morning. I decided that Sunday morning would be a good time to continue my noveling at Panera Bread (which has free WiFi!! I LOVE Panera). Standing in line, David (a self-professed artist) starts talking to me. I did not want to talk to David, which I think I made relatively clear by my lack of intelligible responses. Anyway, this leads me to deliver to you, the internet world at large, some of the rules for Hitting on Brenna. Probably will never be published as a book, but important to know, nonetheless.

Rules:
1. Don't do it before she's had her morning coffee.

2. Don't do it on a Sunday.

3. Don't persist if she doesn't giggle, toss her hair, turn towards you or make eye contact.

4. Don't brag how you just sold a piece of artwork the night before for $350.

5. Don't be in your forties.

and, perhaps most importantly:

6. Don't proceed to sit in a booth where you can see her, pull out a drawing pad and start SKETCHING HER. DON'T DO IT!!!

Creepy, creepy David. Maybe if he looked like an artist, it'd be a bit less weird.

Maybe if he hadn't picked up his cell phone, called a friend, talked loudly about how he just had an 'image of a beautiful woman that was hard to describe, he'd just have to see it' while he was drawing ME it would be less weird.

Maybe, but I kind of doubt it.

Poor David.