Things I Don't Like, #1,476:

Heart Shaped Jewelry.

For about as long as I can remember, I haven't liked heart-shaped things. I take that back. When I was a little girl, I loved heart shaped things. Give me anything with a heart on it, and I was sold. Heart-shaped candy? Why yes! T-shirt with a giant heart on the front? Absolutely! Nasty tasting medicine, served in a glass with a heart shaped handle? Don't mind if I do!

But somewhere along the way, I 'grew up' and decided that I don't like hearts so much*.

I think heart shaped jewelry is particularly heinous. It takes what could be a lovely piece, like this:
Ooooh, sparkly!

And makes it look juvenile:
Does your daddy know you're out this late?

I don't mind the more abstract heart shapes, like Jane Seymour's Open Haaahht (you have to say it with the accent) Collection.

I do mind just sticking more hearts on there, like that will make it less child-like:
Three hearts is better than one...

Unless the heart shaped jewelry comes from an actual child, I don't believe wearing a heart around your finger, or neck, or wrist actually makes you feel more loved. Sorry to anyone out there who loves their heart-shaped jewels. I don't judge you, I just judge the jewelry.

Unfortunately, with the Valentine holiday rapidly approaching, there is upswing of heart shaped jewelry advertising. Just today, we got an advertisement from a jewelry store featuring this beauty:
Can you see the full necklace? Go ahead, blow it up if you need to. I can wait.

Did you see it? It is a heart. With metal bars. With the word "Love" trapped behind those bars. On a heart. Something is wrong with this necklace. It is like telling the world "I'm caging my love" or, alternately, "I have trapped my partner in this relationship." I don't get it.

But then, I don't get any heart shaped jewelry.

*I still do like heart shaped candy.