Sigh.
I needed gas, so I went to the gas station. They had taken the little lock thing-a-ma-bob off the handle that locks it in the on position and I needed to readjust my hand, so I put my wallet on the roof. After the tank was filled, I put my gas cap on, got in the car and drove away. My sister and I wondered what that weird sound was as I accelerated away from the pump, but decided to ignore it.
Until an hour later, when I realized that that weird sound was my wallet falling off my car.
Sigh.
Anyway. This post is not about my stupidity, or the process of canceling all your credit/debit cards, or about my loss of a little faith in humanity since the wallet is totally MIA and not turned into the gas station. Or how totally inconvenient this is to be happening 4 days before the wedding. Nope. This post is about a photo backdrop, and how to build it. The Brenna Way.
Step 1: Decide you need a backdrop for your "faux"to booth.
Step 2: Wait until 4 days before the wedding to build it.
Step 3: Glance at some DIY Instructions online, then head to Home Depot*
* To fully experience the Brenna way, first lose your wallet, so you have to go to the bank and take out a wad of cash after convincing the teller that you are who you say you are despite the lack of ID.
Step 4: Buy supplies, including 10 foot long sections of PVC pipe.
Step 5: Carry supplies out to car, all nonchalantly like you are always going to Home Depot to buy 10 foot segments of PVC, what about it?
Step 6: Realize that you have NO IDEA how to lower the back seats to extend the storage space of your trunk.
Step 7: Try to pull really hard on the seats, hoping brute force will make them fold down.
Step 8: Realize that even though your arms are stronger after 4 weeks of boot camp, they are not Hulk arms.
Step 9: Pull out the PVC pipe cutter you bought at Home Depot.
Step 10: Despite reading through the two lines of instructions several times, be unable to make the PVC pipe cutter work.
Step 11: Go back into Home Depot (leaving your 10 foot sections of PVC pipe tucked in the shadow of your car) to complain that you got a dud PVC pipe cutter.
Step 12: Have the teenaged store clerk show you how the PVC pipe cutter actually works.
Step 13: Leave the store, shame faced. (It helps if during steps 5-12, there is a gaggle of school aged kids about 20 feet away selling chocolate bars as a fundraiser.)
Step 14: Kneel down in the Home Depot parking lot and start cutting PVC pipe.
Step 15: Have a very Nice Chinese Man (I'm not being generalistic about Asians here, I know he was Chinese because he had a plethora of Chinese doo-dads hanging in his car) rush up and tell you "No, no, no. Don't cut the pipe here! Extend your trunk!" And then show you how to do it. And, if you're lucky, said Nice Chinese Man won't even laugh at you.
Step 16: Fight back the urge to hug Nice Chinese Man for being so nice.
Step 17: Put your two 8-foot sections, and one 10-foot sections of PVC pipe in the back of your car.
Step 18: Drive home, unload car. Grab camera
Step 19: Wine.
Step 20: Follow the DIY instructions you saw online.
Step 21: Do the ONLY smart thing you've done all day, and label the pieces of the frame.
Step 22: Add the Ikea curtains you bought weeks ago when you planned on getting this project out of the way super quickly. Admire your work.
Step 23 (optional): Use the new photo backdrop to hide the mess in your family room.
(The mess before the backdrop)
That's it! Now you too can build your own backdrop. The Brenna Way!!!
