Lesson for the Ages

If it has been, say, a year or so since the last time you went running, and you decide all spur-of-the-moment to try it again one afternoon: don't start by running three miles. Or you will end up one sore puppy. Believe me, I speak from experience.

Also: Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Also, 2: Happy MATCH Day!!! (a mere 364 days, or about 8736 hours, until mine own)

Also, 3: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARI!!! (I think I have the date about correct...)

Lastly: I missed my One Year Blog Anniversary (3/12/05), so Happy (Late) Anniversary, oh blog-o'-mine. How I love thee, and the ability thou givest me of spouting off to the world at general. You complete me. (tee-hee!)

4 am

I'm tired. Even though I already slept for three or so hours. OB call is another opportunity for me to be on call overnight. Isn't that just great?!

Today... well, yesterday, really, I guess... I got to see one vaginal birth and one C-section of twins.

And I have this to say: we all come into the world looking pretty skanky-nasty. Covered in grayish slime and a nice purplish-blue color. That is until we start screaming.

Scream away little baby, say I. Some day you might find yourself awake at four in the morning just waiting for something interesting to happen...

Bridal Shower Gone Wild! 

I'm With the Bride

Last night I had the lovely experience of going to my first ever Bachelorette Party. We all wore matching pink T-shirts that said "I'm with the bride." And the bride wore a white shirt that said "The bride" and a veil (covered in condoms)

Oh, yeah, and the whole thing was in Charleston. I heart Charleston.

So, being a person who has gone out on occasion in the past, of course I'd seen bachelorette parties before. Usually in a "oh, look, there's a bunch of giggly girls with one wearing a veil/tiara/feather boa/some form of penis decoration - must be a bachelorette party." Then I proceed to go on my merry way. Turns out, that is not most men's reactions. They honestly seemed to be fascinated with the whole concept of a large group of girls (there were 13 of us) out specifically to celebrate a wedding. Of course it probably helped that we were toting along an inflatable penis. Other bachelorette parties were also very excited to see us.

On the whole, I have never felt so conspicuous going out to bars and/or dancing before. It was fun! Of course once is about enough for me. I'm perfectly happy to go back to my days of blissful anonymity.

I propose here, though, that every woman should have a 'bachelorette party' with her friends at least once a year. Even if there are no weddings forthcoming. It is just a fun way to feel special for the night!

Back to real life now, though, and to a place where I will feel decidedly un-special. I am about to embark upon my two weeks of high-risk obstetrics. These two weeks are purported to be two of the worst imaginable weeks of third year. Wish me luck...

Six weeks of third year left, total. Just under 14 months until I'm an MD. Ack!

Which is Better: Silence or Stupidity

I am just so annoyed right now that I don't even know how to describe it.

Today was a perfectly normal day, with really nothing that went wrong. Then we had our lecture at 4 and I feel like my head imploded. The lecturer was one of those deluded people who actually wanted, and expected full participation. For some groups, this is not a problem. Unfortunately, I seem to be in a group of monks that only fulfill their vow of silence during lectures. NO ONE answers anything. Okay, that is an exaggeration. Of the 15 of us, there are 3-4 that regularly open their mouths to answer questions. That leaves 11 silent bodies.

Today, the lecturer was WAY above our heads. Well, at least way above my head. I didn't know anything, may some of the others did. But I tried! As one of the 3-4 regular speakers, I did my duty - I answered questions. Of course, EVERYTHING I said was wrong. I just kept sounding stupider and stupider. (heh. Stupider...) Eventually, it got to the point where even I stopped answering. I just couldn't handle it any more. I wanted some semblence of support from the rest of my group. Sigh.

Today WAS a game of 'Read My Mind,' though, so I don't blame the others for not piping up.

Dr. Attending: What other anemia can you get during pregnancy?
Me (or some other brave soul): Um, hemolytic?
Dr. Attending: Well, I guess, but I was really thinking sickle cell.

OR

Dr. Attending: What other vitamins should she be on?
Brave soul: Um, folate?
Dr. Attending: Related to anemia.
Brave soul: Um, B12?
Dr. Attending: That has to do with that GI lecture I gave you last year.
[Silence]
Brave Soul: B6?
Dr. Attending: Vitamin C!

Why even bother speaking, you may ask, when all the others get by with remaining mute? Well, I have been a teacher at various points in my life, and I know how awful it is to be there looking at the silent class, waiting for someone to just get the ball rolling. I have sympathy for the lecturer, and I have a desire to get out of lecture faster. Today it just ended up frustrating the heck out of me. Bye bye heck, you're all gone from me.

I'm going to go find chocolate now. Mmm. Chocolate. And a book that doesn't contain any uteri.

Three Months

That is apparently how long it takes one to get over the crash of a computer, and the loss of a novel. Interesting, no?

My computer crashed about three months ago. If you'll remember, that was right around the time that Nanowrimo came to an end. I had successfully reached the 50,000 word mark (50,009 to be exact), and was finally getting around to posting it on my novel blog... Then came the crash. Like the stock market in 1929, my computer crashed; like the investors in 1929, my hopes and dreams were crashed with them.

Except that it took them years and years to get over it, and it only took me three months. And lots of chocolate.

I've finally gone back to my website, copied everything I had posted there, and discovered that I lost around 16,500 words. Not too bad... I don't think I even really liked much of the last 10,000.

So, what happens now? (does that phrase make anybody else think of Evita? Well, I don't know. I have to re-read what I wrote to decide how terrible it really was. Then, maybe if I'm feeling inspired I'll try to work on it some more.

Some others of us could use some inspiration, too, I believe...

Horn-Tootin' Brenna

I don't like to toot my own horn (okay, sometimes I do, but I swear this isn't really one of them), but I got an e-mail the other day that has thrown me back into a state of confusion and doubt. The e-mail reads thus:

Hi Brenna,
have been thinking back on the good students on neurology in the past year and wanted to send out some random recruiting e-mails. What are you going to do with your life? Remember how fun neurology was?? Hint, hint.. You would be good at it. Please let me know what you are going to do as I am interested and if I can help you in any way whatever you choose to do, then please feel free to ask...

So... Just when I had given neurology up (partially because we still haven't gotten our grades back and I was not certain whether I had done well or terribly) I get a freaking recruiting e-mail! I didn't even know that people did that kind of thing. I can tell you that I don't think the pediatrics department does. Which wouldn't be necessary, anyway, as I spent the entire rotation in Cheerleader mode (aka Like me! Like me! Give me Honors! I'm Going into Peds Girl)

I would be much more appreciated in Neurology, that's for sure. What's a girl to do?

One thing I won't do: Obstetrics and/or Gynecology. I'm only on my third day of the rotation and it honestly is not going that terribly (we'll see if I'm singing a different tune after 'STD Clinic' at the health department tonight) but I just feel... wrong. Hairy.

There are two (female, of course) residents on Gyn-Oncology team that I'm on this week. Both are nice. But get this: their names are Cassie and Suzy. Cassie and Suzy. CASSIE and SUZY! Good grief.

Remember that episode of Scrubs? The one where the OB residents are trying to lure Elliot to join them? They are depicted as an ongoing slumber party type of girl. I know that Scrubs is one of the most accurate programs out there in terms of depicting medical training. But even I thought that perhaps they were exaggerating the OB/Gyn thing. Nope.

Cassie and Suzy!

I have never heard two residents giggle so much. Mostly when the attending is around. The male attending. The male attending who does not have a wedding ring on (could mean single, could mean doesn't wear ring). Giggling + male = Flirting. At least in my book. So, yes, these residents are FLIRTING with the attending. I never thought I'd see such a thing.

This is why I can't go into OB. Don't get me wrong, I can giggle with the best of them. I'm just generally not around patients when I do it.

Disclaimer: I am intending no harm to the above mentioned residents or attending. All are quite competent as physicians, and the patients seem to really enjoy them. The comments I made, though they may sound disparaging, are just my way of saying that I don't fit in. And you know how we all fight the unknown...

Land of the Perky

Yesterday afternoon, I was privileged enough to attend a wedding shower of a friend of mine from school that is getting married. (Thus the wedding shower... duh.) I've only ever really been to one wedding shower before - one peril of moving all over the country is that you are rarely there when your friends are getting married.

So, there I was, being all wedding-showery and cutesy and girly, when I had a sudden realization: I had, unknowingly, fallen in amongst the girls that drove me CRAZY in college. The cutesy, flirty, girly, cliquey, PERKY girls. There were no sororities at my college, but if there had been, these girls would have been the presidents and social directors. They were nice and all, but as a group, they were quite frightening. With enough energy to power the Twin Cities for days.

And there I was, smack dab in the middle of one of their wedding receptions.

It was okay, really, except that I felt hairy. Yes, that's right. Hairy. Interestingly, being around these cute petite girls doesn't make me feel huge and hulking like it should, it just makes me feel hairy. I realized, as I sat there during the Opening of Presents, that I hadn't even thought about plucking my eyebrows or shaving my legs in much more time than it takes for plucked/shaved hair to grow back.

So, today became Hair Removal Day. I plucked and I shaved. And the result? I am cut and swollen, and you can't even really tell the difference (except for the swelling and bleeding) because I have BLONDE hair.

But at least now I don't feel hairy!

Angry Incompetence

As much as I liked my pediatrics rotation (which ends today - well, tomorrow really, after the tests), and as much as I liked the heme/onc week of it, let me tell you HOW relieved I was to leave today. Yesterday I briefly mentioned my 'less than confident' intern. Well, today, I think her head was about to implode.

EVERY little thing was stressing her out today. And when she didn't understand something, or didn't know the answer to a question, she just got louder. I swear, by the end of the day I needed ear plugs to protect my ears from permanent hearing loss. She just sounds angry. Loud, angry and confused.

Along with louder and possibly angrier, she'd get more frantic - stacking papers up, jumping from one thing to another. A question such as: "So-and-so is back from their test. Can they eat now?" was enough to make her jump out of her seat and run out of the room. I don't know why. The answer was clearly yes. Which is just as easily said while sitting calmly with nicely organized papers.

Sigh. Some people really worry me. Because, gentle readers, some day this woman will be a doctor. Wait. She IS a doctor. But some day she'll be off on her own, practicing medicine.

And do you really want to see some one who will hit the ceiling when you ask if your kid is ready to start eating solid foods?

Ahh, but I am too, too harsh. She has time yet to learn much more. Much, much more. But let me tell you this: I will NOT be that way.

Except, perhaps, on Tuesdays.

Stamping Out Disease, part deux

Okay, they knock the little kiddie out, then they jam a needle thing-a-ma-bobby into his little hip. The needle is surprisingly not all that big. And it isn't really a needle like you'd picture a needle. More like a blue plastic toy contraption that has a two inch sharp metal piece sticking out of one end. I think the blue plastic part is for traction - it must be dang hard(ish) to jam a needle into bone.

Okay, Lindsay, get up off the floor now. I'll stop talking about bones and needles.

Alright. So, doctor gets bone marrow, nurse lady puts marrow into and on top of several different tubes and slides. Little kiddie is then woken up. Easy peasy, no? It is! The parents even stayed and watched.

I assumed my participation would end with the... Well, actually I didn't really participate per se in any of this. I was merely an observer. But, the attending did invite me to travel with her to the lab to check on the results.

Now, I did say that I didn't have the gold touch, but I do have to tell you that, in Medical Student Land, one-on-one time with an attending is tantamount to bushels of gold. Bushels! Especially when the attending is the clerkship director. ESPECIALLY when the attending is the clerkship director of pediatrics. Smashing!

I got a full half hour of walking around with Dr. Attending, asking thoughtful and relevant questions. All the while thinking "Ha! Someone to ask for a recommendation letter! She actually knows that my name is Brenna, not Brenda or 'that student' This is great. Sound smart, sound smart! And stop talking to yourself!!!"

Then, to top it all off, we went to look at the bone marrow smear of the adorable little two year old whose symptoms were all concerning for leukemia. And he didn't have it! He instead has something called Idiopathic (or Immune-mediated) Thrombocytopenia - ITP. 90% of kids with this recover pretty quickly without any problems.

Isn't that great? I think so.

To celebrate, I went home and had a processed cheese and pickle sandwich. With horseradish. It sounds like I'm pregnant, but I'm really just poor and haven't been grocery shopping for a while.

La di da!

HAPPY DAY AFTER YOUR BIRTHDAY, DAD!!! Way to go!

Stamping Out Disease!

Putting aside for the moment that I am currently tired, hungry and bored and that no one seems to be feeling the compulsion to send me home (I need to study!!) becauss the upper level left and the intern here is... less than confident, I have had a pretty amazing day.

Not in the everything-I-touch-turns-to-gold-I-can-do-no-wrong-and-here's-my-winning-lottery-ticket way, but in the gee-that's-just-pretty-dang-freaking-cool-and-I-got-to-be-a-part-of-it way. [editorial note: typing with a lot of dashes instead of spaces is really hard]

A two year old presented to his peds office yesterday because he'd been bruising all over. He was sent to the heme/onc clinic here for work up. What is the most likely diagnosis with easy bruising (and oh yeah, toss in some petechiae and an enlarged spleen and low white blood cell count) All the little children say: Leukemia!

So, two year old (whose mother, by the way just had a baby a few months ago and is supposed to go back to work tomorrow) is admitted to the heme/onc service for a bone marrow aspirate. I, eager-beaver of a med student that I am, tagged along.

In the bone marrow aspirate, they start an IV and knock the little kiddie out, then

HA! I was sent home. I'll finish the story later.

BAM.

Diabetes, Schmiabetes

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don’t search around and look for the “coolest” book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.

"Patients commonly present with polyuria (including nocturia), polydipsia, polyphagia, and rapid or unexplained weight loss."

From First Aid for the USMLE Step 2

It Be Done!

Two things are done:

1. I'm done with call for peds, and after our ONE admission last night, I have a grand total of 3 patients that I admitted/saw while I was on call. Two of the interns I worked with woke up the next morning (after an almost page-less night) and called it their 'best call ever.' They call me a white cloud. Somehow, I think I annoyed my upper level, though, who I've never been on call with and who keeps having the world's WORST calls ever. While I'm happy to bring the white cloudness, I fear that it may backfire on me, and I'll develop a big ol' black cloud while I'm a resident... Time will tell.

2. My Valentine's CD! I 'finished' it the other night, but as I'd only put in 6 or so hours of work into it, it just didn't feel right. I listened to the prelim CD on my way home from Susan's (my computer is having more identity issues and doesn't seem to believe that it has a D drive, so I'm borrowing Susan's), and I just shook my head and said NONONO! It was not right. Usually I spend MONTHS planning the perfect Valentine's CD. (Usually, too, I was supposed to be studying and found searching for the perfect song much more rewarding.) Anyway, I think I've fixed it all today, and finally can breathe a sigh of relief for a job well done. And this version won't leave people despondent and suicidal at the end. (KEY: If you choose to include depressing songs - sandwich them with happy ones!)

All that said: who wants a CD? Let me know. I have a list in my head, and if you read this and I know you, you're probably on it. But, heck, even if I don't know you - if you want a CD, let me know. I love to spread musical joydom.

ONWARD! I have a Career Planning Seminar tonight. I'm pretty dead-set on peds, but I want to see what this thing is all about. Plus, free dinner. Yum!

I'd Rather Be Reading Jane Austen

I believe you belong in Pride and Prejudice; a
world of satire and true love. A world where
everything is crystal clear to the reader, and
yet where new things seem to be happening all
the time. You belong in a world where your
free-thought puts you above the silly masses,
and where bright eyes and intelligence are
enough to attract the arrogant
millionaire/prejudiced young woman of your
choice.


Which Classic Novel do You Belong In?
brought to you by Quizilla

HVD!

When you put Happy Valentine's Day into an acronym, it sounds kind of like an infectious disease. Huh.

HAPPY HEART DAY ONE AND ALL. Much love to all the peeps out there - family, friends, teachers, patients, people who sell me coffee... all those near and dear!

On another note, I've declared today to be National Stair/Stare Day! What happens on NS/SD? Let me elucidate: Today, all day, you either 1. take the stairs whenever you are moving from one floor to another or 2. Stare at someone on the elevator as you move from one floor to another.

I've generally been choosing "stair," and man! eight flights is a lot! Especially after lunch. But I'm not too keen on being that weird girl who is staring at everone on the elevator. But thems the rules, people, I didn't make them up. (oh, wait...I did...)

HVD and NS/SD!!!

Slow Motion Day

Yesterday, being the proactive person that I (sometimes) am, I made a schedule for today. It looked like this:

9-12: Study at Panera
12-2: Laundry and bills
2-4: YMCA, shower, etc.
4-11: Chill

Here's what has happened so far:
9-12: Sleeping. Every once in a while waking up, with a bad stomach ache
12-2: Up, lunch, watching TV, trying to make stomach ache go away
2-3: Shower, dress
3-3:30: Go to Panera to study, realize that their internet isn't working, leave
3:30-4: Come to school to study, mess around on the internet

Somehow, I haven't even made it onto my schedule for the day! I decided to no work out because my stomach still hurts - I blame it on my diet over the last few days. (Diet here meaning 'the food I've eaten' rather than 'an attempt to reduce caloric intake and improve health')

Sigh. I don't really feel like studying, but I figure I ought to do at least ONE thing from my list. I still do intend to do laundry. And bills. Eventually...

I'm in the Fishbowl right now, because all the private study areas are taken. This place is crawling with little first and second years... They must have a test or something coming up. It is weird to be back in here after so long. To think I used to practically live here! Thank goodness for change.

But right now, to make myself feel a bit better, I'm going to Google people that I didn't like in High School. Tee-hee! It always makes me feel good to find no references to them... Like they don't exist.

Friday!

I made it! It's officially my thirteenth day in a row. But tomorrow I GET TO SLEEP IN. I'm so happy I could cry.

Oh, yeah, and I'm going to the circus tonight!! What a fantastic day!

PMS, a Primer

Assuming that half the world is of the male variety, and that a good number of women manage to control their hormonal ups-and-downs, I believe that I can safely say that more than half of the world does not personally know what PMS is like.

Folks, I am here to educate you.

Lesson One: When you're PMS-y, things annoy you more. Things like... drivers, traffic lights, girls on the elliptical trainer next to you at the Y talking really loud on their cell phone, old men on the elliptical trainer in front of you sweating buckets all over the floor, residents who smile too much, residents who talk too much, unit secretaries who won't answer your questions, and basically just... people.

Lesson Two: When you're PMS-y, you get teary at more things. Things like... little kids, patriotism, sports events, people being happy, people being sad, being tired, being frustrated, reallity television.

Lesson Three: When you're PMS-y, you say things you didn't even realize you were thinking. Usually kind of mean things. And usually when you're annoyed (see Lesson One).

That's enough for now. Maybe I'll write more later, but MAN The Amazing Race is FREAKING me out.

Back Where I Belong

Well, maybe anyway.

For the first time in over three months, I'm back on an inpatient service. It is easy to forget how different things are. I am on peds inpatient now, which is cool since I've decided that this is what I'm going to do with my life.

Today, however, I'm on call. And it is Saturday. And it is beautiful outside. And it is overnight call, so I'm here until tomorrow. And I have to be back on Monday, which means I'll be working twelve days straight by the time I reach next Friday. AND I'm having an 'I Feel Stupid' Day.

It started because I had no idea what to do this morning. I eventually got to the right place (not late, either), but everyone was SO grumpy! Even a fellow student who I have never, EVER seen even remotely CLOSE to being grumpy before. My team (of which I was the only one present at that time) got chastised for not keeping the list up to date. Then the upper level who had been on call proceeded to bash all of her fellow residents, most of whom I think are wonderful people.

Anyway, that just starts the day off on a bad note.

And then, I didn't have a red sheet done, I didn't know (still don't) what Bicitra is/does, and I just feel all-around incompetent. And this is going to last until tomorrow morning! ACK!

Sigh. Back to doing something... smart-seeming.

Why anyone is letting me be a doctor, I'll never know... Beware!!

(Ha-ha, not really! I'm sure I'll be feeling relatively smart again at some point...)

Happy Winter Y'all

It's Groundhog Day!